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40 Fandoms: Super Smash Bros.

Crossposted to 40fandoms

Title: Show Me Ya Boobs!
Fandom: Super Smash Bros.
Rating: PG-13 for foul language and talking about nudie pics.
Wordcount: 623
Timeline: I dunno, the SSB series isn't really that plot-intensive. I guess it'd be set during Super Smash Bros. Melee, since Bowser and Ganondorf are around. As for the individual franchises, I'd say Mario and Bowser are from between Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine, and Link and Ganondorf are from the Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask timeline.
Summary:
It's Bowser and Ganondorf vs. Mario and Link...Ganondorf's feeling snarky, but Bowser has a plan.

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Ganondorf may have prided himself on being the King of Evil and the Leader of the Gerudo Thieves, but this whole--what had it been called?--Super Smash Brothers tournament just struck him as stupid. He had better things to do: Hyrule Kingdom was still waiting to be conquered, there were plenty of villages and peasants he hadn't tormented by siccing some kind of monster or ghost or plague-like venerial disease upon yet...and he still had yet to claim the Triforce for his own, too. Being a world-conquering dictator didn't leave much time for fighting tournaments.

And yet here he was, assigned to the "Red Team" with another villainous creature, a strange cross between a turtle, dinosaur and dragon that called himself Bowser. (Ganondorf had to be selective in his usage of the term 'strange,' since neither he nor his legion of monsters hardly qualified as normal, by any means. But Bowser was, by comparison, definitely strange.) The two had met in prior matches, usually against each other, but today they found themselves allied in a teams match against their own nemises: a short, fat, mustachioed man Bowser scathingly addressed as Mario, and Link, a young upstart that had been causing Ganondorf a lot of trouble over the past few months.

Mario and Link had been assigned to the "Blue Team." Normally, Ganondorf wouldn't have any trouble against Link, but the creatures that had organized this Tournament and stuck them all unwillingly in its ranks, had dummied down his Dark Magic. In his weakened state, Link had beaten him in a one-on-one battle, whereas Ganondorf managed to scrape by with a win on their rematch.

This time, however, Ganondorf was sure he would fall again. Not because of his own lack of skill, but because of Bowser's lack and Mario and Link's possession thereof.

"We're doomed," he grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his long nose. "Completely, utterly doomed."

"Oh, cheer up!" Bowser slapped him in the back with a massive, clawed hand, sending the Gerudo man stumbling. "I've got a good idea. See, I've been studying the racer guy, Captain Falcon--you and he have a lot in common as far as fighting style goes."

"Yeah, except he's a moron with a brain the size of a Deku seed." Ganondorf rolled his eyes. "He's also faster and lighter and a pervert."

"Just because he says 'Show me ya moves' so that it sounds like 'Show me ya boobs' doesn't make him perverted. I won't argue with the moron part though." Bowser leaned in close to Ganondorf, pulling the man down and blocking his colossal, fanged mouth from view of Mario and Link, who stood on the other end of the battlefield. "Here's what we do. You use that Super Purple Evilman Punch of yours--"

"--the Warlock Punch--"

"And I light your fist on fire with my flame breath at the same time. We make our own Falcon Punch and send them both flying for an easy win!"

Ganondorf tossed the most sardonic gaze in Bowser's direction and snorted. "No. That's stupid. You're stupid. I'd rather rape an Octorok."

"You're just jealous of my genius."

"Sure, if you say so. Oh, hey, look--there's a naked picture of Princess Peach over there!"

"What? Where?"

Ganondorf took two steps back and crouched down, drawing one fist back, charging it with Dark Magic as Bowser searched the ground for the nonexistant discarded cheesecake.

"HRRRAAAH!" He unleashed a mighty punch to Bowser's back, sending the Koopa King flying off the battlefield, KOing him. This earned Ganondorf shocked looks from Mario and Link, but Ganondorf simply waved them off.

"He was pissing me off," was all the Gerudo King said, and left it at that.